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Author Topic: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse  (Read 525 times)

Patty Rain

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #15 on: November 22, 2021, 11:32:36 am »
Congratulations on your daughter's wedding and upcoming sealing.

I really like that we can do things this way, now. Marriages should be an event where family and friends to come together in love and support for the new couple. I don't believe it diminishes anything from the sealing. If anything, it makes it more centered on covenant, rather than on ensuring everyone is included and worrying about hurt feelings for some who can't participate. It's a great example of a "win-win" solution.

Exactly!

Though I do have to say that those hurt feelings can still be there.  His parents pressured the couple to invite more people to the sealing.  Those people were invited and came to the wedding, but his parents want them at the sealing too.  We don't know how those people felt about not being invited to the sealing and we still wonder if they will show up to the sealing because his parents have invited them. But it has never been about who could or couldn't have a temple recommend.
Time for a change.  I am yungmom, but have wanted a new username for some time.
 
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Patty Rain

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #16 on: November 22, 2021, 11:40:10 am »
I meant to answer about the chapel while I answered.  Whatever the handbook says it will still be up to the bishop.  The bishop who married my daughter said doing it in the chapel wasn't "appropriate".  That was fine with them since they wanted to be married in the cultural hall anyway.

That worked out even better because we ended up with a small funeral in the building that morning.  They had the funeral in the chapel and the luncheon in the RS room. The other ward really worked with us so that we could have both (we did the noisy part of the decorating and going in and out the doors before the funeral.  Once the funeral process was about to start we stayed quietly in the cultural hall and whispered while decorating. The wedding was later that evening.)   

Time for a change.  I am yungmom, but have wanted a new username for some time.
 
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Sweet William

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #17 on: November 22, 2021, 02:56:04 pm »
I meant to answer about the chapel while I answered.  Whatever the handbook says it will still be up to the bishop.  The bishop who married my daughter said doing it in the chapel wasn't "appropriate".  That was fine with them ....

Okay, what in the world could be MORE appropriate in a chapel than joining a loving couple under the watchful eye of a servant of God?  :)
 
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Jana at Jade House

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #18 on: November 22, 2021, 03:13:41 pm »
When I came into the church mid 1970s couples had only 2 choices,  cultural hall, or RS room.  Maybe Patty's bishop has that in his head.
The idea was to make it less like a church wedding, and encourage temple marriages because receptions for untemple marriages were also subdued.
That is what I remember.

In those days single women of childbearing age were not allowed to be endowed unless they were going on a mission.  That changed around 1990 or so.

I like inclusive.  But I think the leadership worries about diluting the sacred and all important temple process.  I do not know.
 
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pnr

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #19 on: November 22, 2021, 03:49:09 pm »
Okay, what in the world could be MORE appropriate in a chapel than joining a loving couple under the watchful eye of a servant of God?  :)

It is the processional, and the attendants and pageantry and music that has been deemed to take away from the marriage itself.  Most of us have been to weddings that WE would have agreed would not have been appropriate in a chapel because it made the event more important than the commitment.
Nauvoo 1270, Feb 2005
 
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Sweet William

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #20 on: November 22, 2021, 05:03:55 pm »
On my mission, before the local temple was completed, couples were wedded in the chapel.  Also, the bishop gave them both a blessing in front of the congregation.  It was beautiful.

But yeah.  No wedding march.  No flowers strewn in the aisles.  No groomsmen doing "the worm" down the aisle.
 
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N3uroTypical

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #21 on: November 22, 2021, 06:37:46 pm »
I've been best man at a wedding where bride and groom both walked down the aisle, each led by a separate rottweiler.   And again at a wedding where the bridal party took off halfway through the reception to take wedding pictures at McDonalds (bride was thumbing her nose at her mother who paid for the wedding). 

I've also attended two weddings hastily thrown in an unadorned cultural hall, directly underneath the folded-up basketball hoop.  One marriage lasted a few weeks, the other one involved a pregnant bride and lasted a bit longer.

I'm hard-pressed to find anyone who thinks any of those 4 weddings should have been done in the chapel.
What-about-ism is pointless. I like to think most people's responses to such arguments would be, "Yup. That person, who happened to wear the same political jersey I do/did, was totally wrong on that, too."
-Taalcon
 
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Jen

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #22 on: November 22, 2021, 08:38:01 pm »
 My daughter and her sweetheart don't like attention, aren't having a bridal party, and just want to get married. Wherever they choose their marriage to happen, it will be sweet and appropriate.
 
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Scruffydog

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #23 on: November 23, 2021, 03:12:45 am »
Since our chapel and cultural hall are the same room, it isn't an issue for us. Add that to the fact that all of our marriages are civil, followed by a temple sealing, and the problem doesn't exist. There's times when being on the wild frontier makes life a little easier.
 
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Scruffydog

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #24 on: November 23, 2021, 03:29:13 am »
Quote
Make that First President, and that is no longer the case. It used to be that you could ask the FPy for approval, if say your brother was a Bishop somewhere else. The Letter from June 30, 2021, appears to rescind that. But it did allow those with previous authorisation to continue.

The requirements in the letter are that either the bride or the groom must be a member and have their records in the unit where the Church officer presides, and the Church officer must be legally authorised to perform weddings in that jurisdiction. It applies to all civil weddings, but only in terms of whether the wedding will take place in a Church building. This is where a separation of Church and State is clear; for a civil wedding, the most important thing is that the state's requirements have been fulfilled. That is why it is a civil wedding. If a member of the Church gets registered as a celebrant in Scotland (no idea if it is the same down in that there Englandshire), then the Church has no say in whether they conduct weddings. What the Church can say is that it would not be appropriate for someone who is not the Bishop or the Stake President  to conduct the ceremony in one of our buildings. Beyond that, it is render unto Caesar...
 
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Roper

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #25 on: November 23, 2021, 11:19:01 am »
If a member of the Church gets registered as a celebrant...

That should be the name of Galadriel's brother-in-law.
Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. - John Dewey
 
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N3uroTypical

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Re: Civil marriage in a meetinghouse
« Reply #26 on: November 23, 2021, 09:39:30 pm »
I just remembered!  At my own reception, we gave an antisocial and combative distant relative twenty bucks and a picture of the guy he was not to allow on the premises.  It was a win for all three parties (because dude never showed up).
What-about-ism is pointless. I like to think most people's responses to such arguments would be, "Yup. That person, who happened to wear the same political jersey I do/did, was totally wrong on that, too."
-Taalcon
 
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