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Author Topic: Misunderstanding.  (Read 294 times)

AndrewR

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Misunderstanding.
« on: February 03, 2020, 02:08:48 am »
I always knew that I do not express myself as well in written words than I do when speaking. And that may be the case for many people. The written word can be very two dimensional. However, I had not realised how misunderstood I can be until a recent thread.

I apologise for anything I may have written that has been taken by anyone as overtly offensive - it was not my intention.
Don't ask me, I only live here.
Nauvoodle since March 2005 #1412
 
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JLM

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Re: Misunderstanding.
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2020, 09:05:48 am »
No worries.  It is hard to express a tone of voice in written word.  So when all else fails, make liberal use of the appropriate smiley.   :)   8)    ;D.
 
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Roper

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Re: Misunderstanding.
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2020, 10:26:18 am »
I think we often forget this line from our charter: "As disciples of Christ, we are merciful to each other and assume that members speak and act with the best of motives."
All grown-ups were once children...but only few of them remember it. ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, "The Little Prince."
 
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kazbert

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Re: Misunderstanding.
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2020, 11:37:35 am »
We have different life experiences. Some will get triggered over a phrase that others see as harmless. It's hard to avoid.

I have found that it takes an investment of time -- getting to know someone over a lot of back and forth discussion -- to understand what someone means by their words. Then when you feel that other is triggering you, you can compare what you think they meant to what you've learned about them, recognize that it seems out of character, realize that you misunderstood, and ask "Did you mean ...?"
If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.
Ronald Reagan
 
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Taalcon

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Re: Misunderstanding.
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2020, 11:47:57 am »
Quote
that it seems out of character, realize that you misunderstood, and ask "Did you mean ...?"

This method has often caused me to realize a wider connotation of my words beyond how I had been exposed to or considered, and have caused me, more than once, to retire some common phrases I'd once used. "What you said sounds like this. Did you perhaps mean this? Here's why there's a difference" has gone a long way with me. It's charitable, and instructive.

Sometimes the person will say, "No, I meant the offensive one" , or "no, I don't accept why anyone would define this any different than I do", and then there's nothing you can do :) But most reasonable people (like Andrew here!) are not intending to be insulting, and welcome and apply the clarification that has led to the frustration or misunderstanding.

Most here are that way. And that's a big part of why I like it here. It's a group of people where I feel like I can be corrected by them and also at times participate in clarification.
« Last Edit: February 03, 2020, 11:49:30 am by Taalcon »
 
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