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Author Topic: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member  (Read 445 times)

cook

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Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« on: January 12, 2020, 12:20:36 pm »
I teach a special education class. Those with behavioural isdues. I'm also the vice principal in our school.

It means I know what I must do. It means I have to write reports to social workers when a kid says a parent has hit. It means I have to beg the parents permission for the kid to see a psychologist. It means parents often don't like me much because I have to tell them how their kid has hurt another or because I have to tell the kid needs help.

This week one set of parents got extremely upset because I had to postpone a meeting with them due to a psychologist asking for a meeting later on which would affect our meeting with the parents. We've had trouble with them before and they don't quite understand how the system works, and they are accusing me of being rasist and all sorts and trying to get all the other parents join them...

So today when the sacrament meeting has barely started in walks one of my pupils with his siblings and mum and a friend.

The first thought: have I spoiled it? Can she accept the gospel knowing I'm in church. Never know if it'll lead to that anyway, but it was a moment of reflection.

Guess who teaches tha class of my pupils age... just moved to when the years started? Did someone plan it for this reason...
 
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Grunt

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2020, 05:54:41 pm »
As a new(wish) convert, I've had concerns like this as well.  However, all you can do is your best.
 
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Roper

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2020, 06:46:34 pm »
Cook, I am the Assistant Director (same as vice principal) at my school. I deal with a lot of student behavioral issues and talk with a lot of parents about their child's behavior. I, too, often find myself reflecting on conversations where parents have become angry and defensive. I work in Provo, UT, so almost every student comes from an LDS family. I often wonder if the responses I am required to make affect their view of the church. In the end, I have to sometimes adopt Grunt's approach, and "Do what is right, let the consequence follow."
All grown-ups were once children...but only few of them remember it. ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, "The Little Prince."
 
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CrowGirl

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2020, 10:50:00 pm »
I worry about this, as well.  My youngest is in her fifth year at a private Lutheran school.  They know which church we attend.  Am I the best example I can be?, I wonder daily.  I’m on the PTL board with a lapsed member who, I believe, would like to come back.  Am I doing well enough for her to get past the offenses she had as an adolescent and consider; Maybe not everyone is like that.

I try.
Jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down.
-Ray Bradbury
 
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AndrewR

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2020, 09:33:57 am »
I'm so glad my alter-ego (admin) made the changes. I would not have read this thread otherwise.

I think we all make mistakes, and fall short of the glory of God. I know that occasionally a word I should not use may pass my lips. My colleagues are usually more dismayed than me, "we never hear you say that word."

"Well you did, and I am sorry, and human."

Don't ask me, I only live here.
Nauvoodle since March 2005 #1412
 
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Jason

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2020, 01:10:06 am »
It seems to me that you are pondering about our authoritative and business relationships with others in the "real world" and how that affects our interactions with those same people in the church. I think that is a very worthy thing to think about. Church cannot be viewed as an escape from the world, because those people in the world are in our church world, too. It brings the whole family of God into a smaller, less compartmentalized space. Our interactions with them in the "real world" should be consistent with our actions in the church world, though it will have to be in a different context. When I take care of ward members in the hospital setting, I necessarily have to take an authoritative role, but hopefully it is couched in a kindly, Christian spirit. When I perform peer reviews, I look to convey avenues for improvement in a kind, brotherly way, while at the same time maintaining a professionalism that does not simply sweep problems under the rug.

Imagine judges, lawyers, criminals, police officers, differing politicians, all meeting in the same ward. We should be able to get along with all of them.

The most difficult interaction I can think of would be between a slave and their master. Imagine the slave as the bishop in the ward. I think this sort of arrangement by honest seekers would have quickly led to the emancipation of all slaves.
 
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pnr

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2020, 08:44:31 pm »
My BIL thought it was really fun to be in a congregation on air force bases.  As enlisted people held priesthood leadership over officers, and subordinate officers had calling over higher ranking ones.    The members didn't seem to have much trouble with this, but it was pretty hard for outsiders to get their heads around he said.  My sis said it upended all the normal spouses relationships with others on the base.
Nauvoo 1270, Feb 2005
 
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Jana at Jade House

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2020, 10:13:41 am »
Good enough or exemplary? :-[ 
Some months ago I worked briefly on a project with another sister.  Keep in mind I hardly know who is who in this comparatively new to me unit.  This sister is funny and talented but quirky and unusual.  During our brief project she made a personal information dump that I was not prepared for and not expecting. Boyhowdy
I thought I was careful in my reply and attitude.  I am on the follow the leadership end of the spectrum about gender and eternal  so that is the language I used.  It hurt her.
Fast foreward to Sunday. She has not been around lately so when she popped up after chapel I sincerely said I missed her. Her response was the people say stuff i cannot handle so I stay home and cry kind.  That was troubling enough. But to find out my words all those months ago even though I was quoting the Proclamation added to her misery just horrified me.
That was never my intent.
I asked her forgiveness. We may have tea and talk it out. Sometime.
This week especially is not a week I can carry a strangers angst and baggage.  I  talked it over with my family.  I feel some better except if my words are an excuse to stay away from church bothers me deeply.

So- she is on my prayer list.  I dunno what else to do.  I  followed the leader and fell into a trap.  It feels very like a minefield covered in eggshells with pieces of her heart strewn about.

I did not feel any where near good enough Sunday.
 
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pnr

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Re: Times when you ponder if you've been a good enough member
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2020, 05:48:18 pm »
Jana, we all just do our best.  And it sounds like you've decided to do things differently about something.  More power to you.
Nauvoo 1270, Feb 2005
 
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