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Author Topic: Cabin & Porch  (Read 35712 times)

Roper

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #750 on: October 11, 2017, 06:54:59 pm »
Kaz, my wife doesn't really have a sharing-for-bonding and a sharing-for-no-secrets delineation.  To her, it's all part and parcel of emotional intimacy.  After all these years of marriage, I still don't fully understand it, because I'm a "need-to-know" kinda guy.  I'm not inclined to ask her much about her relationships and conversations with others, because I don't need to know.  In fact, I often don't care to know.  My wife, on the other hand, wants to know about my relationships and conversations with others because to her, it's an indicator of the health of our emotional intimacy.  So I tell her.  Lots.  Stuff that to me doesn't qualify as "need to know." If I don't tell her, she'll ask. I'm still learning to live together that way.  ;)
 
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pnr

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #751 on: October 11, 2017, 08:57:58 pm »
I generally share the jist of all family phone calls with my spouse (because he is as interested in their lives as I am).   What your spouse is exhibiting is paranoia, which warrants your efforts to avoid stoking, while also encouraging more healthy thinking.
Nauvoo 1270, Feb 2005
 
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LMAshton

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #752 on: October 12, 2017, 12:27:37 am »
If it affects him in any way - including if it affects ME in a way that could affect how I interact with him or my ability to fulfill my responsibilities - I tell him.  The level of detail in what I share with him is determined by how much impact it has on us.  I don't know if that's sharing-for-bonding or sharing-to-avoid-secrets.
This is pretty much how we do it, too. I don't know the details of every single conversation the hubs has, and I don't care. Him, likewise. But if it impacts him, I share. Him, likewise.

It's not that the rest are secret. If either of us asks, the other tells as much as the asking person wants to know. It's that it's irrelevant and unimportant to the other person. We tell no lies and we don't evade. We just don't volunteer absolutely everything.
Nauvoo Member #701 aka quidscribis, joined April 2003
 
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LMAshton

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #753 on: October 12, 2017, 12:28:44 am »
Side note: we're heading to Spain in a week.
Nauvoo Member #701 aka quidscribis, joined April 2003
 
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Curelom

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #754 on: October 13, 2017, 01:09:30 am »
Goody, that's good news about Mini. I hope she continues to progress.

I’ve been trying to chill out in the Cabin, but there’s no escaping the news from north of here, where 31 people are now confirmed dead in the wildfires. The fires have consumed about 300 square miles & are nowhere near being controlled, so it’s a certainty that more people have died or may yet be killed. Whole towns are evacuated or facing mandatory evacuation – visitor meccas you’d recognize, like Calistoga, Sonoma, Napa, & St. Helena. Nearly 3,000 homes have been lost just in Santa Rosa. Two of my best friends live not too far outside the fire area, but they are getting terrible air quality.

Where I live, the reminder is with us continually in the air, with smoke, haze, & odors that vary depending on the wind. Up to 60-70 miles from the fires, school districts are closed because of health concerns, sports events cancelled, & local officials telling people to limit outdoor exercise. One town closed its parks due to both fire danger & air quality. A neighbor went to downtown San Francisco today & said people were wearing filter masks outside.

I’m sorry I don’t feel very sociable at the moment, & neither do the critters. We’re just going to take it easy, sleep & eat. I’ve donated to the Red Cross & LDS Humanitarian Fund, & once the fires are under control & things are calmer, many people in my area will be looking for more direct ways we can help in the impacted areas.

zzzzzz
 

Jana at Jade House

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #755 on: October 13, 2017, 05:00:22 am »
Goody can I ask? Mercy Center? They treated my son who is now a doctor two decades ago and literally gave my my First Boy back. He hated it but for the husband father and contributor to the common good he is now I am forever grateful.
 

GoodyScrivener

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #756 on: October 13, 2017, 05:17:53 pm »
I haven't heard of Mercy Center specifically, but there is a Mercy Medical Group in the Chicago area, so I assume it's part of that.  We went to another similarly large medical group out here in the northwest 'burbs.

Mini is doing much better today. I have to assume that Wednesday's explosion was related to having just come home.  Right now we're waiting for the inpatient center to get their ducks in a row and provide the necessary paperwork to the school district so she can get back into her normal routines.
 
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Curelom

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #757 on: October 15, 2017, 02:08:41 am »
I'm glad to hear Mini is doing better. She'll be in my prayers, & I hope she can get back to a comfortable routine soon.

Prayers & hugs to all Nauvoodles who are having challenges.

For the moment, I'm sitting outside on the deck enjoying a respite of fresh air. We've had long periods of horrible air quality over the last few days since the fires started last Sunday night, with the wind speed & direction deciding when it's OK to breathe, so we have to take the fresh air when it happens. Here are two of the many critter tales from the disaster zone.

http://www.sfgate.com/local/article/lost-dog-found-fire-evacuation-santa-rosa-12278168.php?ipid=articlerecirc

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Son-rescues-cat-amid-Wine-Country-fires-Sonoma-12278870.php
 

Curelom

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #758 on: October 16, 2017, 05:29:15 pm »
More critter tales from the fire zone. Punkin made me post them. ;) In trying times, sometimes we have to keep it light & look at the brighter side, which is the side critters generally come down on. :)
 
http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Somerville-A-dog-s-bravery-and-devotion-12279954.php

http://www.sfgate.com/local/article/Wine-Country-fires-pony-evacuated-backseat-Honda-12280095.php

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Sonoma-Sheriff-cat-under-car-fires-12276377.php
« Last Edit: October 16, 2017, 05:39:06 pm by Curelom »
 

Curelom

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #759 on: October 21, 2017, 02:07:31 am »
For the first time in days, we've had a whole day of clear air at the Cabin without smoke odors, & today I went out without taking my filter mask along. Folks around the Bay Area part of the Cabin have been wearing or carrying them for days. The worst is over, & what a worst it's been. :(

“Little tears of joy dropping from the heavens.” That was how a Sonoma County deputy sheriff described the rain we got Thursday night - & a lot of it, for mid-October.

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Little-tears-of-joy-falling-from-the-skies-12293647.php?ipid=articlerecirc

All the wildfires that have been ravaging the “wine country” of Napa, Sonoma, & Mendocino, & 5 other counties for over a week are close to fully contained, & the one in the Santa Cruz Mountains is getting there We started hearing rain forecasts last week & everyone was so looking forward to it. It was more than I expected (thank you, Lord). I was so glad to see it that I stayed up late last night to watch it, & I’m sure I wasn’t the only one. It was too late for 42 people, a number certain to rise as the ruins are searched. It was too late for the owners & occupants of 8,400 buildings destroyed around the state, almost 7,000 just in those counties north of S.F., most of them homes, & almost 3000 in Santa Rosa alone - 5% of its residences according to their city officials. The Napa-Sonoma area fires started late at night the 8th & were whipped up by freak nighttime east winds, & 5-6 hours later, local fire departments were calling for help from all over the Bay Area. By then I had heavy smoke odors coming in my windows 60 miles away, which prompted me to turn on the radio at 3:00 a.m. or so to find out what was going on.

So the worst is over as far as further danger from these fires. But the rain is also over for now & we are being told to expect more warm weather next week. You’d better believe folks all over will be very vigilant. California probably doesn't inspire many prayers from outside, since most of the country thinks all the nuts, kooks, & dingbats in America are here, but if anyone did say any for us, they were heard. Even though many people died, it could have been worse without the change in the weather & also the 10,000 firefighters from all over California, a couple dozen other states, Canada, & Australia.

It's a cool night with no fog, & I'm outside on the deck with Punkin. We finally coaxed Ivie to come out, because there's no smoke in the air. If anyone drops by late, there's a kettle of hot spiced cider on the stove.
 

LMAshton

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #760 on: October 21, 2017, 09:40:16 am »
So glad to hear the fires are contained. That is good news indeed.

The husband and I arrived in Spain yesterday. Our first flight from Colombo to Jeddah was 1.5 hour late leaving - it took that long to get the meals aboard the aircraft. We then spent 6 or 7 hours in the Jeddah airport waiting for the next flight, which was 45 minutes late leaving. This one was late because they didn’t have the right seat extender seat belt thingie for *me*, and it took that long to find one. The ones they had on board didn’t fit the seat belts. Oops. Anyway, even though it left 45 minutes late, it managed to arrive in Madrid 1.5 hours late. We then had to take the train from Madrid to Valencia, and the earliest train that had seats was at 8:40pm, so we spent 5 hours in the train station waiting to leave. And I got harrassed by two people in Spanish in the three minutes that Fahim was gone to get us food - we had good seats, and they wanted Fahim’s. All I could manage was “me esposo” as I pointed at the seat, “no entiendo” and... Yeah. That’s it. The one guy looked like he was just going to move Fahim’s backpack himself, he was that pushy. And then they glared at me for the next hour, long after Fahim came back and sat down.

Anyway. We’re in Valencia. We’re in a rented apartment. We bought basic groceries this afternoon. We took a four hour nap, much needed. And we’re recovering from the trip. Yay.
Nauvoo Member #701 aka quidscribis, joined April 2003
 
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Iggy

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #761 on: October 21, 2017, 01:31:16 pm »
Our first fall storm hit. Sheets of rain, *Rip Snorter* winds. Started on Wednesday, and is expected to continue through to Monday. It stops for an hour or so, long enough for the crows to hit the vacant lots across the road and feast on the worms that come up for air. Yesterday the sun came out for about three hours. The wind didn't ease up though. I have to go out and collect my potted plant and put back on the porch. The railing pots are under far enough that they aren't getting any of the rain.  :'( So I watered them this morning. The lid to my trash bin was blown open, now the bin will be filled with rain water. Thank goodness the trash collectors no longer dump them manually. The trucks have a mechanical arm.

I can't be in Seattle for my brother's memorial, but I am attending the funeral services of a long time Branch member. He passed on the 16th. This brother lived a long and full life. To read from his wife's FB page, those friends who are not LDS send condolences for her loss and are praying for his soul. Those who are LDS send condolences and prayers for her and the family for strength and comfort.

Such a difference. His soul was never in danger of being lost or turned away from the spirit world. Also he is not lost. No one is. We know exactly where they all are. In the spirit world.
 
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Redd

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #762 on: October 21, 2017, 02:03:03 pm »
I am sorry for your loss, Iggy. 
(quote)
"I  can't be in Seattle for my brother's memorial, but I am attending the funeral services of a long time Branch member. He passed on the 16th. This brother lived a long and full life. To read from his wife's FB page, those friends who are not LDS send condolences for her loss and are praying for his soul. Those who are LDS send condolences and prayers for her and the family for strength and comfort.

Such a difference. His soul was never in danger of being lost or turned away from the spirit world. Also he is not lost. No one is. We know exactly where they all are. In the spirit world.
"

I teach in RS on the third Sunday.  This month the lesson is on Temples (I think it is lesson 22). May I use this quote in my lesson?
 

Iggy

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #763 on: October 21, 2017, 03:00:58 pm »
Absolutely. You touched my heart by asking. Thank you for asking and wanting to use it.

I am worried because I have yet to have a good, sit down, sob my heart out over Gerald's passing. He is 8 years older than me, and I was his shadow from when I first walked, up to when he moved out at 19. Much to his chagrin. His school mates and buddies actually helped me to follow him around and were nicer to me than he was at times.

He and I were *fishing* buddies. I contributed my allowance to help buy the "bait" aka salad shrimp. We never caught anything using the shrimp, but we sure had fun eating the bait. When I was 9 I learned how to catch earthworms. Turn the sprinkler on, wait for them to surface, then go pick them up. Night-crawlers were more work though. We would cut them into 1/3rds or 1/4ths cause they were so big. He taught me how to bonk fish over the head to kill them, and to gut and scale them before we went home so Mom could just rinse and fry. Caught a lot of fish with the worms and night-crawlers. Saturday night was fish night. Gerald and I got to pick what to go with it. He always wanted fried potatoes and corn and I wanted white rice and carrots. Lots and lots of white rice. With rice, I could have some in a bowl with milk, sugar and cinnamon. If there was any left over, had the same thing for Sunday breakfast. Cold rice though. I wouldn't eat fish as a child. The few times I did, I choked on the bones. Never could get all of them out. Now, however, I love fish. I just eat way slower and pick the fish apart. Hubby says I eat Fish Dust. I buy whole salmon and have them cut it into steaks. Easier to get the bones out. Same for Halibut, when I can afford it. Trout - well Mom finally taught me how to cook it (on top of thick slices of onions - baked) then you flip it open and ZIP the bones out using the tail. You eat the meat leaving the skin on the plate.

In our family, the day after the funeral the family has a meal of the deceaseds favorite foods. With Mom it was fried chicken, creamed potatoes, brussel sprouts with cheesy creamy sauce. Desert was plain Angel food cake and mashed up strawberries. Since she passed the end of June we had to buy frozen, thaw them and then mash them. No sugars added either, just a bit of salt so they would release their juice. I can't remember what Mom fixed for Daddy's Good-Bye dinner. I know he loved lutefisk, but the rest of us absolutely hated it.  She probably did a beef roast with everything added: Potatoes, onions, celery, carrots. Dessert would have been Poor Mans Pudding. White home made bread, milk, sugar, and your choice of cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and/or allspice. He had them all.

For my dinner, I would like the family to prepare and eat Corned Beef, cabbage, onions, potatoes, celery, carrots. For dessert, blackberry cobbler with heavy cream.
 
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Jana at Jade House

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Re: Cabin & Porch
« Reply #764 on: October 22, 2017, 03:25:08 am »
In a few minutes we will be joining Britgirl for a day of sightseeing in Alexandria Egypt. This is our last real tourist day as tomorrow  we transfer back to a Cairo hotel at the airport in preparation for an early Tue am flight.  The journey has been a spectacular exactly what I hoped for Andries. He has been in 7th heaven. I will never be able to do this for him again.  Our Jubilee year has been amazing and it's not over yet.   Just know I will never cheerfully live in Egypt. But it's a once in a lifetime place to visit.
 
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