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Topics - beefche

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1
General Discussion / Journals
« on: August 02, 2020, 06:30:30 pm »
I have some journals that I began while in college and on my mission. I continued for a few years after my mission, but when it became clear to me that I wouldn't have children, I stopped writing in journals. In my mind, the only people interested in my journals would be my children, grandchildren, etc.

Since I'll not have progeny, I've been thinking of trashing them. My mission journals I think might be interesting to others, but my college ones...ugh.

Is there any reason why I shouldn't throw them in the trash? I just keep seeing (in my head) them being thrown away when I die and can't foresee them being saved for any reason. What think you?

2
Doctrines & Scholarship / Podcast about violence in the BoM
« on: August 08, 2019, 10:35:39 pm »
I listened to this today and found it very interesting and thought provoking. And I thought of Roper. I remember Roper having some issues with the violence of the OT. I don't know that this will help you, Roper, but perhaps it will prompt some additional thoughts.


https://ldsperspectives.com/2019/01/02/myth-of-redemptive-violence-with-david-pulsipher/

3
Latter-day Saint Life / Garments
« on: August 05, 2017, 03:40:58 pm »
Am I the only one who hates cutting up garments? I know it's time to get rid of them, but just have some problems making that first cut.

Speaking of cutting garments, why do we destroy the symbols? I understand that they should be removed from the garment before using the garment in any other way (such as rags), but if all you're gonna do is throw it away, why do we have to destroy the symbols?

I was always told so that someone won't steal them from the trash to a) use them unworthily or b) learn of the symbols. But, I've never understood those reasons. Anyone have any other reasons?

4
Doctrines & Scholarship / Voice of the Lord
« on: March 01, 2017, 02:49:29 pm »
In my scripture reading, I came across 1Nephi 16:39

39 And it came to pass that the Lord was with us, yea, even the voice of the Lord came and did speak many words unto them, and did chasten them exceedingly; and after they were chastened by the voice of the Lord they did turn away their anger, and did repent of their sins, insomuch that the Lord did bless us again with food, that we did not perish.

A little background. Lehi and Ishmael's families have been traveling for a while. Broken bows, hunger, rebellion, and death have plagued the group. This is soon after Ishmael passed away. Laman stirs up his brother and brothers-in-law to conspire to kill Lehi and Nephi.

Then this last scripture. So, Laman/Lemuel/others are lying and conspiring to murder, but the voice still spoke to them. How? I know the Lord is very merciful and patient and would rather chastise someone than lose that one. But, if they are saying that there is no Lord and no angels, then how are they able to hear the voice of the Lord? Nephi doesn't explain how the voice was able to reach them--simply the voice spoke and the rebellious listened and repented.

Thoughts?

5
General Discussion / Update on my sister
« on: February 21, 2017, 08:47:59 pm »
I'm sorry for bringing up such unpleasant things. But this is therapeutic for me. If nothing else, I know that prayers are being offered.

As you know, my sister is schizophrenic, severe diabetic and has heart disease. She has stopped her meds sometime around September 2016 and has deteriorated since then. She now has received an eviction notice from her apartment.

Her bishop is a judge in small claims court--the very judge she would appear due to the eviction. He has tried to help but since my sister is an adult, she can refuse any help. Our last resort was to get a court order for her to be hospitalized. Today, her doctor called me in response to my asking her to complete the necessary documents. She is unable to do so due to legal issues. Essentially, unless my sister actually threatens or attacks someone, there is absolutely nothing we can do. Nothing. The fact that her diabetes is severe and without insulin, she probably has ketoacidosis but that doesn't factor into any threat.

At this point, I'm less concerned about my sister than I am about my dad. He'll be 80 in 2 wks and his health has not been good. But, with the issues with my sister, he's depressed and his health is beginning to suffer. She focuses on dad as the root of all evil and has accused him of horrible things. He has cut off contact with her because her interactions are so awful. But, he feels such guilt and concern.

At this point, we are dealing with the very reality that my sister will be homeless. My brother and I are concerned that my dad will not let her be homeless. It is our hope that true homelessness will prompt her to reach out for medical help. But, my dad knows that if she lives with him, he will die. She may not attack him physically, but she will be verbally and emotionally abusive to him. And she will destroy the house--she has caused damage at her apartment (thus, the eviction).

I've got tremendous guilt for my own feelings. My sister is not pleasant to deal with even when she is on her meds. But, she is my sister. Due to her choices, the only things I can pray for are either a miracle, for her to attack someone (preferably herself) or for her to go into a diabetic coma. It's not a pleasant feeling hoping your sister will become incapacitated or homeless.

I have to remind myself that she chose this. She chose to stop her meds while she was on meds. She knows enough that she can't threaten someone (and yes, she knows that) and knows that we can't force her to take her meds. I used to belong to a SZ forum and a guy on there who had SZ explained how even while off his meds he knew he should take them.

I'm fighting depression. Today, depression won. I'm so very grateful for my brother and his family. He is the one reminding me to pray and have faith in Jesus and they help so much. I feel supported by them. My husband has been very understanding and patient with me. Her bishop is doing what he can and I was so grateful when he reached out to me. I have support and for that I am truly grateful.

I just feel so bad for my sister. But more for my dad. I'm now doing what I can to prepare (from a financial standpoint) for his death. He talks about death a lot and has us very concerned (I don't think he is thinking suicide, just that he is so down and feels awful). We are planning a surprise 80th birthday party for him in 2 wks. We haven't told him this latest news as we were all so hopeful that this court order would help. It was very disheartening to get that call today.

Thank you for your prayers.

6
General Discussion / Need help/ideas for legal type stuff
« on: January 23, 2017, 06:44:00 pm »
As I've shared, my sister has schizophrenia and has stopped all her medications (including her physical meds as well). She, of course, is getting progressively worse.

She has been sending letters to various family members, but most especially to our dad. She has focused on him and is accusing him of heinous things. We (my brother and I) have decided that the contents of these letters are over the line. We've convinced dad that he should not open the letters and needs to put the letters back in the mail as "return to sender." However, my sister does not place her return address on the envelopes. And she writes the horrible stuff all over the envelopes.

We're not sure what to do other than placing a sticker on the envelope, writing her address on it and "return to sender" and sending it back. We want her to know that he is not opening them and she is wasting money on the paper and stamps. Otherwise, she will continue.  I haven't seen all of the envelopes, but she is writing things like "rapist, monster" etc. I'm sure she is also writing his "crimes" on the envelope as well.

Do you know what the post office can do? Is there anything we can file with the post office to prevent these from being sent to her?

Dad is her payee for Social Security and I'm trying to convince him to contact SSA to ask them to remove him as payee. Dad is afraid that if he does, it'll disrupt her ability to have her bills paid (especially, her rent). Despite her attempts to alienate dad, he still cares for her (although he is beginning to finally feel anger over her treatment) and doesn't want her to be homeless.

I'm at a loss as to what we can do. I don't handle her well at all. I get anxiety and feel the threat of panic attacks when she calls or I have to talk to her. Although to protect dad, I'll do what I need to.

Any ideas? I looked at what it would take to get a do not contact order, but it appears that that is reserved for domestic violence. Dad doesn't speak to her nor visits her, so there's no way to declare DV.


7
Health and Wellness / Mental health issues are some of the worst
« on: October 27, 2016, 07:03:25 pm »
My older sister has schizophrenia. When she takes her meds, she is still very difficult to deal with. It's hard to know how much of her issues are due to her mental health instability and how much are just her. I remember her always being very jealous of others, selfish and narcissist.

We believe she has stopped taking her meds. She is currently in a SZ manic mood. She believes everyone hates her, wants her dead, conspires against her, etc. She doesn't see a psych doctor as she doesn't believe she has anything wrong with her. Her PCP called me over the weekend concerned (she has some serious physical diagnoses) because she had called and said that she isn't taking her meds and is hungry/starving (she's not). After talking with the PCP and the Social Worker that the dr called, there is absolutely nothing we can do. Only if she threatens herself or someone else.

But, she is too smart for that. If we call the police to do a welfare check, she is aware enough to know to be pleasant and accommodating (we've gone through this before), so that the police have no reason to take her to the hospital.

She has alienated the people who were in her life (church people, friends, distant relatives). My dad, my one brother and myself are the only ones who continue to try to help, although we feel helpless. If it weren't for my dad, I'm not positive if I would stick around. I just don't have the capacity to deal with her. It's difficult for me to  separate my feelings about her illness and just her. Even when she is on her meds, she is not a nice person and very demanding. But without her meds? Just awful. She has accused everyone of heinous deeds which are completely unfounded and intermixes these accusations with fantastical stories (dinosaurs, discussions with people who don't exist, dead people, Jesus).

I feel helpless more for how my dad is taking this than I am for her. I have horrible thoughts about her and I'm ashamed of those thoughts. It frustrates me to no end that she refuses to treat this disease. I don't know how to talk to her in normal situations as she is always so accusatory and negative. But when she is in this unreal manic mode is even worse.

I'm not really asking anything. I just feel so frustrated. I'm not equipped to deal with this. It's frustrating that I can't help my dad with this nor can I find compassion or kind feelings for her.   

8
Doctrines & Scholarship / Names on the Temple Roll
« on: October 15, 2016, 07:44:00 pm »
Today while at the temple, I thought of placing some names on the temple roll. My mom came to mind, but she's been dead for 9 years. Is it appropriate to place a dead person's name on the temple roll? Why or why not?


9
General Discussion / Podcast for the good ol' days
« on: March 30, 2016, 06:13:15 pm »
For those who remember Paul Harvey and his "the rest of the story" reports, here's a podcast for you. Very reminiscent of those days. It's Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs and these are only about 5 min long. Very entertaining and Mike has such a lovely speaking voice.

http://mikerowe.com/podcast/

10
Politics / US political choices
« on: March 05, 2016, 12:32:30 pm »
I don't know if political talk can be done on this forum and I certainly don't want this to become some sort of slugfest. So, if any of the admins want to shut this down, I won't get my nose twisted.

I am honestly apprehensive to ask these questions to any of my far left or far right friends. I find that simple questions set them off on a tirade. So, I'm hoping ya'll can help.

What is the draw of Trump? What answers does he provide to his supporters? I've tried to find details of his plans and or policies to be more informed, but all I can find are the entertainment quotes.

Why does Sanders have such a following for an acclaimed Democratic Socialist? How do people think that free healthcare, free education, a large increase in minimum wage and other such types can be paid for? Why do they think that the 1% are evil and who are these 1%? Are they the faceless, nameless corporations only? Do they include the movie stars, MLB/NBA/NFL, music people and other celebrities? Do Sanders followers no longer believe in the "American Dream" where anyone can achieve success, including wealth?

Why are the followers of Clinton appeased regarding her actions with her email as Secretary of State? Do they not think that what she did was actual criminal activity? If not, why not?

These are sincere questions. I may not agree with anyone's political leanings, but I certainly respect one's right to have such. So, I hope this won't turn into "I'm right and you are wrong" type of discussion.

11
General Discussion / Funny, true stories
« on: March 02, 2016, 11:04:43 pm »
Roper talks about funny stories with kids. I have some funny stories about adults.

One day I received a phone call while at work. It was my supervisor. He was traveling from Indianapolis to Kansas City on a non-stop flight. He had traveled before to KC, but usually took the flight that had a stop in St. Louis. Well, he was calling me to get the number to our travel department. My supv just wasn't paying attention and when the flight stopped in KC (where he should have deplaned) he thought it was St. Louis and stayed on. He was in Phoenix and needed to get a flight BACK to KC.

Well, that was too good to not share with others. When he got back to the office the following week, there were posters on his door and around the office with his picture and "Have you seen me?" all over them. There was even a milk carton with his face on it. We had a US map with KC circled and written "Not Phoenix!" written in it.

12
General Discussion / Need family history help
« on: February 10, 2016, 09:34:30 pm »
I'm a complete and utter novice at family history. I'm on Ancestry.com and am trying to figure out this mystery.

My records are showing 2 wives for my 2 great grandfather. He is not Mormon, so this isn't a polygamous thing. I found him and his first wife's marriage certificate and in 1860 census. By 1870, he is with another woman, but all the children are with him, including the 2 oldest children who I've found records listing the 1st wife as mother.

So, here's my timeline that I have actual records for:

George is married 1854 to Easter Ann.
George is living with Easter Ann and son, John, in 1860.
Son John is born to Easter Ann and son Francis shows Easter Ann on his death certificate as mother (but lists her maiden name).
George is living with Susan in 1870 and there are now 3 children.
Easter Ann is buried with headstone giving her name as Easter Ann Wilson.
She is buried in the same town as all my relatives, but not in the family cemetery.

I found on FindAGrave something about him where it says he married Susan in 1864, but I can't find any record of a divorce from Easter Ann or a marriage to Susan. Since I found the marriage record to Easter Ann, I'm assuming that one would exist for Susan as well.

So, here are my questions:

1. What can I be missing from finding the necessary records? Does the fact that this happened during the Civil War mean there aren't records?
2. If my GGM is a child of George and Susan, do I seal all the kids to them? or do the kids get sealed to both women?
3. How do you note these marriages in family search or ancestry.com? If I don't have a divorce date, do I use an "about" year?
4. Do I continue to follow Easter's line (she is not my blood relative--my ggmother is the daughter of Susan)?

Thank you for your help!

13
General Discussion / Divorce party???
« on: January 30, 2016, 01:45:05 pm »
I have a friend, an active, temple going female friend, who was recently divorced after more than 25 years married. It was a mutual decision since both have been unhappy for many years, but they fought over the division of assets.
 
She recently had a party to celebrate the official finalization of the divorce. She invited several people to a restaurant to celebrate and then to her house afterwards to continue celebrating.
 
I chose to not attend. Frankly, I'm still surprised at my temple loving, true to the Gospel friend would think this was a good idea. But, her separation/divorce was not pleasant at all and has obviously stained her thinking of marriage (based on other conversations we've had).

I can certainly understand the relief and peace that a divorce would being to one who felt that the marriage was damaging to him/her. But, I'm just not able to articulate my distaste for the idea of celebrating the divorce. I hope she doesn't ask me why I didn't go because I don't know how to answer her. And being honest with her about this may not be the best idea at this point. So my strategy is to avoid the topic and be non-committal if she talks about the party.

What are your thoughts about d-day parties?

14
Member News / Cocobeam! Get your tuckus over here and say something!
« on: January 25, 2016, 12:42:51 pm »
I saw that you posted in the storyteller thread and was being your usual silly self! I miss you! Tell us how you are doing now. Did you see the thread where I mention that time that bok and I visited you and left beans/ammo on your doorstep? That still puts a smile on my face!

15
Introductions / It's the beef(che)!
« on: January 21, 2016, 07:54:44 pm »
I'm a middle aged woman from Indiana. Learned of the church when I was 9, gained a testimony, wasn't allowed to go to church/be baptized, so went to BYU at age 18 and was finally baptized the day before my 19th birthday. Graduated from BYU and served a mission to Bulgaria (where my father was born and raised).  Married in the temple later in life and we are childless. Husband has since left the church and become an anti-Mormon atheist. I am still faithful and plan on remaining so. I love movies, reading, cooking, history, traveling...


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