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Messages - Curelom

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Mormon Life / Re: Inspiration
« on: July 08, 2018, 10:13:42 pm »
I love this beautiful and simple arrangement.  "Be Still My Soul."

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News of the Church / Re: Church Worthiness Interviews
« on: July 08, 2018, 08:20:46 pm »
I am a recovering addict. It took me until I was 44 to understand what it meant to be an addict. Before then I thought I just had a "little problem" that with enough faith and effort I could overcome. After decades following that approach I finally realized it was no little problem, it was infinitely stronger than I was, and the only way to deal with it was to turn my life upside down. Praying, fasting, attending the temple, counseling with bishops didn't help because I fundamentally misunderstood the nature of the atonement and my relationship with the Savior. I was trying to do it on my terms. When I let go of any conditions, only then did I get out of the Lord's way and let him in. I have learned to rely on my Savior in a way I didn't comprehend before. For almost 5 years I have been attending weekly 12-step meetings, doing daily step work, having daily phone calls with other recovering addicts, working with a sponsor and sponsoring others in turn. And I expect to do this for the rest of my life. Before I thought this was too high a price to pay, but it is a very small price for the peace and freedom the Lord gives me each day.

Addiction is both physiological and behavioral. It is progressively destructive, sometimes slowly and sometimes rapidly. And it affects everyone around the addict, whether they are aware of it or not. In reality this “little problem” breaks hearts, destroys trust, ruins relationships and corrodes faith.

Whether or not it's an addiction, whatever sin we persist in will keep us from God's presence now and forever. And encouraging people who persist in sin to use their temple recommends only cheapens the temple and its covenants.
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General Discussion / Re: Current Events - US Politics Edition
« on: July 08, 2018, 02:35:20 am »
You had one of ours too (and it seems quite a few other Finns in the US Army according to this article) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lauri_T%C3%B6rni
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General Discussion / Re: Current Events - US Politics Edition
« on: July 08, 2018, 01:48:08 am »
That article gives no background rates of discharge. Has this increased or decreased recently? Is this consistent with general enlistment discharges? 40/10,000 is a rate of 0.4%, or 1 out of 250 that do not make it through. But are these accurate numbers? I saw an article that said that 7-14% of general enlistees drop out after boot camp, depending on the branch. So would this program be a bigger success than regular enlistment? Or is this comparing wrong things. This article is so frustrating, because it seems to leave out crucial information, but wants to paint a picture to disparage Trump. I think you need several levels of information before you can do that.
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News of the Church / Re: Church Worthiness Interviews
« on: July 06, 2018, 09:38:24 pm »
Curelom, I deleted the two posts which had a lot of detail. The discussion still makes sense in a general way without the specifics.
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News of the Church / Re: Church Worthiness Interviews
« on: July 06, 2018, 11:24:23 am »
I don't know, JLM. Utah is fifth highest in the nation for suicide, seventh highest in the nation for drug overdose, way above average for prescription drug abuse, above average for child abuse, and according to anecdotal evidence, above average for extreme sexual deviancy. My own opinion is that the Mormon culture here creates an environment of shame and secrecy--we don't openly discuss those things because they're bound up with "worthiness" issues--and so problems remain largely hidden and unaddressed until they explode.

It's getting better on some fronts.  I recently had kidney stone surgery.  Before the surgery, I was required to attend training about prescription drug abuse and alternatives to opioid pain medication.  In my post-op visits, there was a lot of attention focused on pain management without opioids. Next month, I have enhanced teacher training about how to identify and report child abuse.  My wife has regular professional development about helping clients to overcome pornography addiction, and about helping clients to overcome self-injury. Those are the two biggest concerns at LDS Family Services right now.
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Mormon Life / Re: Inspiration
« on: July 01, 2018, 12:47:04 pm »
When we first moved here I fell apart. I don't know why.  It wasn't that big of a change, but somehow it really came apart.

In the first month or two all we could find was Christian and Spanish radio stations for some reason. I don't know why as some then we have found tons of other types. 

One afternoon a member of the band "Crowder" was telling of his song, "I AM". He told how "I am" goes both ways - I, Patty (or Jana or Roper or Iggy etc), am holding on to Christ and I AM (Christ) is holding on to Christ. That we need to have it go both ways.

   This is why it's to you I run
There's no space that His love can't reach
There's no place where we can't find peace
There's no end to Amazing Grace

I am
Holding on to you
I am
Holding on to you
In the middle of the storm
I am holding on
I am 

That helped me hold on to him and kept me going.

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Mormon Life / Inspiration
« on: June 28, 2018, 03:52:21 pm »
I seem to find a lot of inspiration in Christian music.  This past week, the lyrics to this song have come to mind often as I've talked with my sister.  She's been a single mom since her only child, a daughter, was a baby.  Her daughter is getting married, now, and my sister is having challenges with all the changes happening.

My child, I bore your cross, I wore your crown
When you couldn't come to me, my love came down
So take My hand, I'll lead you out
'Cause that was then
And this is now

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General Discussion / Re: Cabin & Porch
« on: June 27, 2018, 02:21:39 pm »
Wow.  Just look around.  It’s still here.  Can’t believe I made it back after all this time.  I wonder whatever happened to Hound.  And Meadowbee.  So many others. The swing’s still here.  Looks like I’m alone.  Just as well.  I need a little time to just sit and remember, listen to the echoes of the past. Guess I’ll just sit myself down and  enjoy the geraniums.

What?  What’s this?  Right here in the rail.  Can’t believe it.  I wonder who carved it? Looks like it’s been here for awhile.

Ryan ❤️
Always and Forever

Tears still come easy.

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General Discussion / Great news :)
« on: June 27, 2018, 10:10:51 am »
I'm sure I've mentioned over the past few years how my family has struggled. My husband has been trying to make it as an independent contractor, and a series of bad deals and "learning experiences" had us in a tough place. I went to work a couple of years ago (in addition to teaching piano), and while I'm so very thankful to have an amazing job that gave me the flexibility I need to be a mother, it hasn't paid the bills and our family has suffered for it: my time and energy divided, working mom guilt, not enough to go around...

The company I work for has been struggling and we came darn close to going out of business. As things grew more and more precarious, we got more nervous. DH hasn't had demonstrable work for awhile, he was worried about his age, and we added lots more worries to the pile that may or may not have been valid. As he started to look for a job that would take care of us, I prayed for some very specific things for him and his prospective employers. Miracles unfolded quickly and my prayers were very specifically and directly answered. Some things I didn't even ask for but Heavenly Father knew we would need materialized.

Today, my sweetheart starts a new job that is going to change everything for us. One that was seemingly wrapped in a perfect package and placed in front of us. These years of struggle and worry are over, for now. I just pray that he'll find joy and fulfillment in this position.

In the meantime, a benevolent investor (they do exist) swooped in to the rescue and is doing miraculous things for the company I'm at. Our mission is a noble one; we just haven't had the reach or resources to keep going. Now we will. AND, I'll be able to only be in the office when my kids are at school, and quit teaching piano. When they're home, I get to be Mom.

Heavenly Father is good and wise and I'm just bursting with gratitude. You've all heard my grief and worry, so I wanted to share my joy.
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General Discussion / Re: Current Events - US Politics Edition
« on: June 19, 2018, 04:25:14 pm »
I just do not know who and what to listen to and believe.  Separation of children from parents crossing illegally is not a new thing.  Children who are alone need to be protected from villains. Some parents might even be rather relieved that their kids are getting as Curelom says 3 hots and a cot. because as horrible as it is to normal people,  where they came from is far far far from normal and safe.  In many ways these poor beleaguered folk are not unlike refugees that come knocking on Europe's door.

The truth is out there somewhere but emotions and opinion have certainly made it hard to discern. 
I am glad I don't have to make these decisions.
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General Discussion / Re: Current Events - US Politics Edition
« on: June 17, 2018, 04:38:33 pm »
Colleen Kraft, president of the American Association of Pediatrics, visited a shelter for immigrant children on the Texas border.  Here is what she said about kids who are separated from their parents: “The really basic, foundational needs of having trust in adults as a young child was not being met. That contradicts everything we know that the kids need to build their health.” She went on to explain that..."Such a situation could have long-term, devastating effects on young children, who are likely to develop what is called toxic stress in their brain once separated from caregivers or parents they trusted. It disrupts a child’s brain development and increases the levels of fight-or-flight hormones in their bodies. ... This kind of emotional trauma could eventually lead to health problems, such as heart disease and substance abuse disorders."

Nearly 4,600 mental-health professionals and 90 organizations have joined a petition urging President Trump, Attorney General Jeff Sessions and several elected officials to stop the policy of separating children from their parents. The petition states:
"These children are thrust into detention centers often without an advocate or an attorney and possibly even without the presence of any adult who can speak their language. We want you to imagine for a moment what this might be like for a child: to flee the place you have called your home because it is not safe to stay and then embark on a dangerous journey to an unknown destination, only to be ripped apart from your sole sense of security with no understanding of what just happened to you or if you will ever see your family again. And that the only thing you have done to deserve this, is to do what children do: stay close to the adults in their lives for security. ... To pretend that separated children do not grow up with the shrapnel of this traumatic experience embedded in their minds is to disregard everything we know about child development, the brain, and trauma.”

You can read the full article here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2018/06/16/america-is-better-than-this-what-a-doctor-saw-in-a-texas-shelter-for-migrant-children
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General Discussion / Re: Fathers' Day
« on: June 16, 2018, 06:07:39 pm »
Imagine the outrage if they did that for Mother's Day.

Thank you, Curelom, for your heart-felt Father's Day wishes.
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General Discussion / Re: Current Events - US Politics Edition
« on: June 16, 2018, 09:51:10 am »
I just learned something. There is a difference between "improper entry" and "unlawful presence". Improper entry is a misdemeanor crime. Unlawful presence is not a crime, but a violation of regulations. It is punished with civil penalties, not criminal penalties. The civil penalties may be deportation, and there is an extensive civil process in place. Many people here may have entered legally, but then overstayed their visas or other allowable times. It could be that 45% of those without proper permission entered this way. They are not criminals, as it is not a violation with criminal penalties.

The fine for the misdemeanor crime of improper entry is $50-$250, but gets more if repeated. Many of us have had traffic tickets for more than that, which are also misdemeanors.

I found this in a 2014 Deseret News article. https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865601049/LDS-Church-reaffirms-stance-on-immigration.html

Interestingly, President Uchtdorf speaks of being a refugee twice.

The article also states, "Our principle, I declared to the president, is that we love our neighbor, which means we love all people, in all places and at all times," President Uchtdorf said. "One of the core values we stand for is families. The separation of families (in U.S. immigration policy) isn't helping."


"One of the major pillars is the right to bring and enforce laws, using the rule of law, that enforce our borders," President Uchtdorf said. "First we need a just and caring law balanced with the values and principles that we love our neighbors, that families stay together, and enforce just and compassionate laws."

I think the church would encourage us to find avenues of enforcement that do not separate families. If you get a traffic ticket, you sign the ticket, promising that you will appear at court, rather than being arrested right then.

The article is referencing a 2011 statement from the church which included this, "We recognize an ever-present need to strengthen families. Families are meant to be together. Forced separation of working parents from their children weakens families and damages society".

For many people it is becoming harder to separate their politics from their religion.

2 Nephi 1:5,6 "But, said he, notwithstanding our afflictions, we have obtained a land of promise, a land which is choice above all other lands; a land which the Lord God hath covenanted with me should be a land for the inheritance of my seed. Yea, the Lord hath covenanted this land unto me, and to my children forever, and also all those who should be led out of other countries by the hand of the Lord.

6 Wherefore, I, Lehi, prophesy according to the workings of the Spirit which is in me, that there shall none come into this land save they shall be brought by the hand of the Lord."

That last line is interesting to me. It might depend on whether you consider the USA, or Mexico, or central America the promised land, but for many, it is the USA. Can you imagine that all of those that are coming here from India, Pakistan, Syria, Mexico, Guatamala, etc, are brought here by the hand of the Lord?
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General Discussion / Re: Current Events - US Politics Edition
« on: June 15, 2018, 12:06:20 am »
Thank you, Curelom, for your thoughtful and articulate answer.  That helps me to think about the situation in the context of taking care of kids, and working to minimize the consequences caused by their parents' actions. I can relate to that much better than getting caught up in the political debate part of it.

This whole immigration thing is such a mess. Even before Trump took office, it was really screwed up.  A woman we went to church with in Texas got deported. She left her husband and four young kids here.  She had to go back to Mexico and go through an expensive year-long process to come back.  There should have been a process for her to complete the requirements here, without being deported.  I think it's the height of hubris to deport people.  When colonists came to America, the Native Americans didn't round them up and ship them back to Europe, insisting the colonists go through a long and expensive legal process to come back over.  And look what the colonists did--seized land, spread disease, raped, pillaged, and waged war to take over the continent.  We're here because of their atrocities.

Yes, there needs to be a screening process. Our current process is really broken.  And don't get me started on talk of a wall.  >:(
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