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Messages - AndrewR_admin

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1
Member News / A Spouse's Counsel
« on: April 09, 2017, 09:41:09 pm »
I'm finishing my educational administration program next month, and I've applied for several positions, from learning coach to assistant principal.  Yesterday, I was expressing my frustration to Michelle that out of almost 40 positions I am well qualified for and have applied for and have diligently followed up with, I've only had one interview.

Michelle quietly said, "You know, over this past year with your principal internship and certification, you've seemed really stressed.  And now you're even more stressed about finding a new position. Are you sure this is what you really want?"

I answered, "I don't know anymore.  I thought I did. It just seems like the next step in my career is administration."

"If you could have any career in the world," she asked, "What would you choose?"

I thought for a moment and replied, "I would conduct research on the way children learn and I would teach aspiring teachers how to plan learning activities based on how kids learn--really engage kids."

"So what's holding you back?" she asked.

"A PhD.  And working at a university."

"So what can you do about that?"

"I'm 50, Michelle."

"Well," she laughed, "You can't start any younger!"

My veteran's benefits pay for college, as long as I attend a state university and am working toward a degree. So after a pretty extensive search, I found a PhD program in Educational Psychology at the University of North Texas--about an hour from where we live.  The program is designed for working professionals, so I won't have to quit teaching to attend.  Now I have to begin the application process to start in January. 

I'm really excited about this, even though it's going to take about five years.  I don't think I would have ever considered this direction without Michelle's counsel.
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2
Doctrines & Scholarship / Re: The House of Israel
« on: April 07, 2017, 02:09:38 am »
Slippery slope.... ::)

One example of when I "did my own thing" was when the week before trek I gave a history lesson on the migration and settlement of the great basin by the pioneers including a timeline of migration periods (handcarts were short lived), where the pioneers came from (mostly the NE US and northern Europe), the raw numbers of how people arrived (most came by train), and BY quotes about the handcart experiment (he considered it mostly a failure, hence the focus on building the RR).  I figured some context was important before they went.

I've also done lessons on atonement theory, the structure and origin of the Bible and an overview of other faiths' beliefs.  Each of these lessons was in response to a question from one of the youth.  When I have gone off manual in cases like these I have found the kids to be highly engaged.  They are eager and ready to learn, but too often we spoon feed them the same mush we fed them in primary.

Anyway, I'm currently callingless at this point so I can't drag anyone down the slope with me right now.  Better enjoy it while I can.
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3
Doctrines & Scholarship / Re: Pre-Existent Spouse-Choosing
« on: June 13, 2016, 04:45:30 pm »
I agree with pnr. Of course everything is possible to God, but it would seem pointless.

Yet, my personal experience... At some point in My youth I 'saw' or felt a thing of past. Me and two young men in premortal life. We made a deal that we'd be family. 

When I first met my husband, the Spirit told me 'he is your husband'. I got to know him and even though he had many qualities I admired, the were more of those I disliked. I had things with other guys, figuring out if one of them could be the guy I knew by name, who was one of the closest friends, the other guy being one as well, and who I had made a deal with.

I always kept coming back to thinking about dh. At one point I was in the temple, practically praying between two directions, this one or another friend. The message was clear. Which ever I would choose, My destination would be celestial kingdom (which is even more significant for me since the other option came out later on as gay).

My point being, I do believe I knew my husband and my oldest son then, we were very good friends and we made a deal. Yet I had a choice and many other men would have been just as right in terms of reaching celestial kingdom.

As much as I love my husband, would I call him my soul mate? Never. People were very surprised when they heard we were getting married. My mum had passed away by then, but earlier on, she knew or wished we'd be a couple. Probably the only person on earth who would not have been surprised. We're so very different. Yet, he's just the right kind of husband for me. I don't think I'd do well with a soul mate.

So I'm of many opinions. I don't think one should look for one and only soulmate. I do believe though that in some cases some arrangments may have been done. Even though I Said I felt we had made a deal to be in same family I feel it was more of a wish, maybe we plead with heavenly Father to allow it happen, yet accepting it might not.

(Sorry for Capital letters in wrong places, the phone keeps adding them... )
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4
Doctrines & Scholarship / Re: New Doctrinal Mastery
« on: June 09, 2016, 10:18:26 am »
Cook, I think that means you've done it right!  When I was in seminary (many moons ago), they tried to teach us doctrine, but scripture mastery was 100% about knowing chapter and verse and being the fastest to get to the place in your scriptures.  Which, to me, is useless and stupid.  I don't even like the philosophies that focus on memorizing scriptures, including knowing chapter and verse, because memorizing isn't half as important as understanding them.  I have a few scriptures memorized, and I can tell you in general where they are, but that is because they mean something to me and I have read them a lot in my study.  Not because I memorized them first.
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5
Latter-day Saint Life / Re: Celebrating those who leave the church
« on: April 26, 2016, 01:13:16 am »
That just left me really discouraged.  It makes me question every good intent I have, along with the people I work with in church.  I don't see people pushing others away.  I see people doing the best they can, who are imperfect.  And you're telling me that despite my best efforts, I am most likely hurting someone in pain.

Wonderful.

I teach the Laurels three weeks a month.  I'm supposed to, anyway.  Since January I have taught three lessons because the Laurels. Don't. Come.  I have held Movie Nights, where I literally cook all day, hoping to have a fun night away from church.  They don't come--they're busy, they say.  For this past Sunday, I prepared a lesson that I was excited about.  I had a big spiritual experience that confirmed my testimony of what I was teaching, one I have only shared one other time, but felt it appropriate.  And once again, it looked like no one came.  The YWP, feeling sorry for me, offered to bring her visiting adult daughters into class so I could teach someone.  One had an infant who had found her voice, and the other was helping another sibling by watching over their ill-taught toddler who could not go to Nursery.  And then, a Laurel showed up.  One who is in a part-member family, and is already feeling conflicted about which parent she wants to side with.

Maybe I should have said, I have a Laurel; thank you, guys, for being willing to listen.  I didn't think I could do that, though.  The Spirit I was hoping to feel might have been there, but I could not find it in the tumult of two loud children.  I have no idea what my Laurel thought.  She has never been the most talkative, was terse before the lesson when I asked her questions bout school/life, and did not bother to look at the handout--something I rarely give out, anyway.  I left the classroom feeling upset, discouraged, and wondering if my Laurel will come back.  In Roper's words, had my and the YWP's actions pushed her out the door?

And yet.  A couple of minutes later, the YWP wrapped her arms around me, apologised and began crying in my ear.  One of the daughters she brought in has been inactive for years.  By a miracle, she had come to church.  She came to my class, and participated and shared thoughts.  It gave her mother hope that something is still there.

So, how do I view what happened?

I do not have an answer for your friend who lost their daughter.  All I can say is, It's not the first time I have heard this.  I just remember a friend asking this as they tried to get through their trial; Did God lie?

 I have been in personal pain for over 20 years, and I know it will never get better.  Yet I keep coming back, no matter the people around me.  I saw my family ignored and gossiped about whilst growing up, so I suppose my pain has been there, more on than off, since 1976.  Yet I never stopped coming.  I never stopped participating.  Because of what I cannot deny.

But what is the point if, despite my best efforts, I push people out the door?  Maybe I should just stay home.  Maybe we all should.
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6
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: April 21, 2016, 02:06:49 am »
Little Sisters will always miss Big Brothers.  When our family gets together, CrowDaughter and CrowBaby latch on to CrowSon and will not let go.  When he left for his mission, his sisters visibly brightened with every email and letter he sent home.  I encouraged letters, drawings and prayers to help him, which I think helped them as well.
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7
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: April 21, 2016, 01:11:43 am »
Little Sister is having the hardest time (she's 5).  She is been having crying moments that last couple days.
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8
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: April 19, 2016, 03:12:41 am »
It's nearly CrowSon's anniversary of getting his call.  I cried when he read his call, and I cried when I saw him at the airport in İstanbul at the end.  I was proud of him for making that choice.  I guess I focused on that.  I hope your wife might feel some peace soon, Andrew.
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9
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: April 18, 2016, 01:16:23 am »
My wife is doing better than I expected having her oldest son gone.  It helps getting word from him each week (didn't think of the video option).  I did set up a Facebook page for him to share pictures and thoughts from him each week with family.  He is currently in Wolfeboro Falls, NH a pretty place that apparently gets summer visits from the Romneys and the Marriotts.  The members in his mission seem to watch over the missionaries pretty good and that is reassuring.
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10
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: April 17, 2016, 03:30:16 pm »
Andrew, it's almost a year to the day since Elder Scruffypup left for Utah, and my lovely wife hasn't stopped crying yet.  What our elder does is he sends us a video clip every week where he gives us an update on what he has been doing.  What really helps us is that we get to see him every week.  It isn't two way communication, but it means we see him and can hear him.  His mission have all been issued with iPads, so if your elder's mission has them, he can do the same.
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11
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: April 16, 2016, 07:52:23 pm »
My wife made a Facebook fan page for each of our sons who went.  She posted updates from them, and relatives and friends could contribute.  they (sons) couldn't read any of it, but it gave her a way to process their absence and to share that time in their lives.  She also hand wrote a scripture and a thought every day, numbered them, put them in an envelope, and sent it once a week (Canada for one, Portugal for the other.) It added a daily activity to the weekly letters.
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12
Doctrines & Scholarship / Re: Did God really authorize it?
« on: April 03, 2016, 01:19:14 pm »
The reason that Alma was told not to save the innocents is so that justice could be had for the wicked.

I don't know that the evidence is that God thought race prevented men having the priesthood.  I think that BY, who learned of a black member (son of a man known to have been ordained to the priesthood, who may also have been ordained) marrying  a white woman in MA, when the laws against it were withdrawn, around the time he learned of a black member in Winter Quarters starting a new church in which membership required white women to be with him overnight, with some success.  I think he felt that denial of the priesthood and thence temple marriage to black members was the only way to discourage interracial marriage that he believed would foster so much trouble civilly so as to endanger the church (Utah Territory was admitted only as a slave state, after all).    Whether God ratified the denial or not, He didn't order BY to overturn it, and the two prophets who investigated the issue before 1978 also did not feel inspired to change it, even when it was proven that no written evidence of divine instruction could be found.

As for the genocide --- the purpose of our lives here are to make the choices that will allow us to become like Him.   When the conditions on earth make that impossible, cleansing a people is NOT the worst thing that can happen to them or others.   The worst thing would be not doing anythign and thus preventing His own plan from being effected.   Death is never the worse thing.  Neither is suffering, Neither is homelessness.   Not loving and serving God is the worst thing.   Never knowing about God because of the circumstances around us is the worst.

I tend to think that the things we think are impossible to attributed to a loving God are cases of us a) not having all the info, or all accurate info; b) not having God's perspectives of what is loving for our good;  c)misunderstandings of His instructions, or somehow not getting all the inspiration He tried to give and/or d) so that justice can be effected against the wicked.   

My own experience is that the very best efforts of members seeking and trying to do His will are not necessarily felt as the love of God by those who observe them and/or affected by them, and sometimes are identified even by the faithful person who once believed it was God's will, as misunderstandings.  But there is no question that He runs the church and doesn't let listening leaders mess up when something is important to His plan.  I have a testimony that our Heavenly Parents and Savior are perfect and holy and personally love and know us in every moment.   It follows that I do not doubt Them, no matter how little I understand or agree with what happens on earth, even Their leaders' decisions.  They are completely able to correct recalcitrant leaders.  If They don't, it means that whatever happens will work for our good so long as we continue to seek and live Their teachings.
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13
Forum News, Discussion, and Help / Re: Country Flags
« on: March 30, 2016, 01:29:26 pm »
Sorry this was probably overreach on my part, Scruffy, but I took a glance at your profile and noticed that Location and Country are 2 separate fields, and you had Scotland in the location, not the country.  I added it to the Country field and now it seems to work.
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14
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: March 19, 2016, 02:16:02 pm »
I hope he has a great mission! Very fun news...my Katie leaves the MTC in a week or so for Taiwan and we're still completely in disbelief, wondering  where the many weeks have flown by...  the time passes quickly. Hugs!
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15
Member News / Re: Mission call
« on: March 19, 2016, 09:11:01 am »
Congratulations to all of you!  London is a great mission.  My ward has an elder serving in London South, and he is having a great mission.  I hope your son has as good a time.
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